Ægrus Somnium

Yes, YEEEEEEES!!!!! a serious post, or no i guess depending on who’s reading, but if you don’t like my serious stuff i got a steamer brewing in my intestines you can eat in an hour or two, should be a nice moist tasty one since dinner was awesome last night. Anyways there was an incident today which got me thinking about humanity and are need to self destruct, from the smallest of things to the grand scale of scientist’s trying to destroy us all and war, its interesting that we’re like one of the only species that does this, now, i don’t fucking feel like doing research so we may be the only species and this is all based on what i have heard and seen. So on the grand scale for examples we have bullshit like these wars for fucking oil and shit like that and that seems to be a very touchy subject with people “no, we’re over there fighting because they attacked the world trade centers”, really? then why aren’t we hunting bin laden anymore and why was everyone satisfied when we got saddam who had nothing to do with it, fuck off. Then we get down to the plain bizarre and stupid.

“hey scientist 1 i’ve got this great idea, lets shoot a missile at the boon and see if it makes a giant hole and we can see if there’s traces of water”, “hey scientist 2, that’s a cool idea but what if we fuck up and split the moons into pieces and throw off the earths gravitational pole throwing us off into space or into another planet or into the sun and we all die”, “well scientist 1, then we’ll all die and no one will remember”, “very true scientist 2, i’m game.” Now along the line of scientist we have the people working on artificial intelligence who straight up say that if they make a machine that can think for itself it’s pretty likely it will be just like it happened in terminator, they’ll realize we’re a flaw and destroy us. Now here’s the kicker, they’re still working on it, hahahahahaha, isn’t that fucking funny they know they’re going to kill us and they’re still trying hahahaha, oh god it kills me, seriously, how fucking stupid is that.

Ok, to step back from the global level to the individual level, as a person we all do this as well and don’t really think about it, simple things. drinking, smoking, drugs all of this is self destructive behavior, there’s also my personal favorites, piercings and tattoos, nothing is as sexy as a girl with a lip ring *drool* seriously, just a little thing of mine. We also have a thing about destroying relationships, i’m guilty of this, when me and my now wife we’re together in the beginning it was great, then i was jealous all the time and never believed her about guys she talked too, yes i was an ass and it was stupid, in slight defense of myself she would always defend these guys she barely knew over me even if i was right which made things worse, and we fought and i beat the shit out of her, ok, i didn’t, or did i…. hmmmm, ponder that, obviously we got passed that but this just all goes to the point that we drive ourselves to self destruction for no reason, we destroy our earth, pollute our waters, chop down all the trees that we need for oxygen and overpopulate, just a very interesting thing to sit back and think about sometime, try it, maybe you’ll get some of my hatred for humanity

yeah it’s been a while since the last post, there is a new dream up, I got a few reviews to write and there will be a new post coming soon I assure you

i would like to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving but also remember to be careful, i lost a good friend a few years back on this day, due to his carelessness. there’s just simple steps you should take, a few simple things to remember, THE RULES ARE DIFFERENT FOR ZOMBIE TURKEYS!!!!! sadly my friend forgot this, he knew the basics, keep your eyes opened, never go into a building that doesn’t have at least 3 more exits, don’t just carry a gun bring a machete (i have a machete but tend to use a full tang sword most of the time, i like style points). now turkeys rising on thanksgiving happens quite often, would you like to be butchered en masse with friends and family, then suffer the shame of being stripped and paraded down conveyor belts naked, while your friends and family, and your friends friends and family are suffering the same fate all around you, just to be air tight packaged, unwrapped and tossed in an oven at some assholes house, fuck no. ok, back to the topic at hand, my friend left his machete out with his gear in the truck and only had his gun on him, in some cases this could be all right, plenty of exits out, but ONE FUCKING PROBLEM turkeys you buy HAVE NO FUCKING HEADS how you gonna aim for NO FUCKING HEAD. so this thanksgiving day please be sure to keep a blade handy, a machete, a meat cleaver, in my case my katana, well actually probably my machete, hard to swing the katana in the kitchen. now if that little bastard rises they are quick and they use their weight as a weapon, 20+ pounds flying at your head is no fun so ruin it’s day with a blade, you need to hack the shit out of it, get it’s wings off, get it’s legs off, stop it’s mobility as soon as possible. now some people still choose to eat them, i highly, HIGHLY, advise against this, it’s fucking infected meat, granted there’s no blood but still, anyway, i recommend taking it out back and burning it all or a garbage disposal, something to completely decimate the remains. so remember be careful and have a safe thanksgiving.

isn’t my vacant tooth hole damn sexy, don’t you just wanna stick your tongue in the void and lick it, c’mon, you know ya wanna

ok, so i got really tired of using condoms and we’ve both agreed on only having one kid so i set out in search of another method aside from getting my boys snipped and i stumbled on this little device called an iud. i called a doctors office and the assholes must not accept my insurance because they just hung up on me, pricks, so next best thing, the almighty ebay. i ordered myself an iud and figured this couldn’t be to hard to do, and yes, i read all the sellers reviews and he had 50,000+ sales and 98.8 rating so he is a very trusted seller so i felt more then safe ordering it. this is the one i purchased (photo taken from his ebay page:

can’t remember the company that put it out, but it doesn’t really matter, now i understand that these kill sperm on contact or something to that effect so in order for them to work the sperm must come in contact with them so sensible way that it could work is to be inserted into my urethra, and looking at the thing and with just a little common sense you can tell the arms flex down and it has a string to remove it once its time frame runs out (which to my understanding is like 5 years or something). ok, so first of all, this thing was fucking painful as hell to insert, make sure your not flapping in the breeze or it’s not going in, and it felt like it was tearing all the way in, thats when things felt wrong, the thing had no give so thats portion stayed stiff. when i needed to urinate it burned and bled bad, aside from that i had to force it out due to the thing nearly plugging my urethra shut, imagine back to when you where a kid and played with a hose, you’d put your thumb over the end to get more pressure and spray it further, it’s kinda like that, so now i literally have no aim and there’s bloody urine splatters all over the wall until i find out which direction it’s coming out and can then aim. now the very worst part, it’s fucking stuck, the arm’s are like fucking fish hooks, like an anchor, sure they flexed down to go in but its like and umbrella it can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up, it’s horrible, i tried a quick tug and nearly passed out and bled horribly for a while. i’m a bit embarrassed to go to the doctors, i’m thinking maybe a twisting motion as i pull may keep the arms at bay, i’m really not sure, or maybe a straw to slide up around it thats slightly wider and perhaps it’ll go around the arms, either way fucking avoid these things and just stick with a condom, who the fuck invented this death trap, jesus.