Ægrus Somnium

dear lord, that sex scene in true blood was OMG…. shut the fuck up, it was LAME and 5 seconds, and FAR from going anywhere’s near too far, maybe too far for a 5pm non premium channel show, seriously, death becomes her was more graphic lol, maybe soccer moms should stop watching this, yes i understand twilight got your shriveled ovaries somewhat moist and to a now prune like consistency but THIS ISN’T TWILIGHT this is a big kid show and not for teeny boppers and soccer moms, next time some stupid bitch male OR female bitch that is says something like “like, O M G did you like see that scene in like true blood, it was like totally like nasty” you chloroform their bitch ass, so go get some chloroform right now, i’ll wait…

ok, good, now keep that hand AT ALL TIMES for the next few weeks everywhere you go, at work, school, soccer practices, your going to need it, and a hammer, thats important as well, well i guess you can put a rag in there mouth so they don’t clench their teeth to hard and break them but i prefer to just take them out with a hammer them they can just squish gums, now after they’re chloroformed and unconscious, actually, do me a big favor first, if you don’t know how to knock someone out with this stuff, go to the roof of at least a 12 story building, sit on the edge of the roof, poor the chloroform all down the front of your shirt and then pull it over your face please, ok, now for the rest of you bring the unconscious person home and tie them up  in a chair and get their eyes pried open and rigged up kinda like this:

ignore the electrodes and shit (10 points for you if you know that movie, and another bonus 10 if you post on my facebook what big white object he smashes a ladies head in with or a comment here can work as well i guess), ok, now after you get them all rigged up you show them these movies to teach them what disturbing really is:

so i just got done flushing a healthy serving of food to my captives in the septic tank, it’s a good place for them, it’s not to deep for a night dig, it’s out of site, cement walls and "water" to dampen the sounds, for added security i put cinderblocks on their thighs and superglue a snorkel in their mouth, its a bit more work because you gotta do a bit more monitoring and make sure they understand to swallow the "food" thats around them through the snorkel then blow out the extra so they can breath, and make sure the levels don’t get to high to get up past their nostrils and such, but a little night vision webcam helps with that, obviously this portion needs to be taken into consideration while building the septic tank, and you do want to build it yourself, but you want to run the wires IN the cement so they come out beneath the septic and into your house through some kind of thin durable casing, into your basement and through your walls, if you do it all willy nilly the wires will be seen and your a dumb fuck who deserves to be caught, and thats all i’m saying on this subject

ok, going to do my reviews here then move them to the review section after, when i do do reviews that is since i’m slacking

ok, so Red Dead Redemption (PS3)

honestly i am speechless about this game, it was FUCKING AMAZING!!!, this is what a game should be, all around PERFECTION!!!, NO this isn’t just a GTA western, and if you are not a true gamer DON’T FUCKING TOUCH THIS GAME, YOU’LL TAINT IT!!!, by true gamer i mean a person who get’s into game’s, like REALLY get’s into there games and has empathy for the characters, like when the character is wronged you want to get that revenge, if the character is emotionally hurt you know what he’s feeling, games like that are like good books that just draw you in, yeah you can just go around and be the asshole and kill everyone and yes sometimes i did to get a couple trophies that were either humorous ones or challenging ones but i also put my bandana on so as not to damage my characters reputation as the good guy which i mad so stayed maxed, we all do have to have a little fun sometimes, it is a sandbox game after all, but this isn’t like your typical Rockstar game where your playing a badguy mobster drugdealer where the goal is to do bad stuff, your playing a guy who had a bad life, did very bad things, tried to make a better life for himself and is now in a really shitty situation and who can’t relate to being in a shitty situation and wanting out or to just make it better, anyways this game is just mindblowingly good in my own opinion and a big thank you to rockstar and all those involved in making this masterpiece

One of the Best Games EVER!

so Lady Gaga’s video for Alejandro came out today, now all my friends know i have a very weird eccentric taste in music ranging from folk to hardcore so yes i like gaga and Katy Perry, so anyway, i’m not a fan of this song, and not too big a fan of artist really “exposing” themselves to bolster their career’s but in Gaga’s case she is basically always barely clothed even when she was playing coffee houses there was a case of it, so after the video was put online today Katy Perry tweets this comment “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”, for one if i remember Katy was always making dumb fart/poop jokes on her twitter account, and if you look at her twitter account right now the dipshit russel brand she’s seeing makes a fart joke about how she has to sleep on the couch because she farts so bad in bed, oh the irony is just beginning, next, katy was born in a strict catholic household and when her career started she was cool, had a really cool kawaii cutesy kinda style to fit with her good looks, but now she just hangs her boobs out over he skimpy ass costumes, doesn’t seem very catholic to me to show as much skin as legally possible to push your career forward, next, this idiot russel brand, before they started seeing each other he came up to her at a show and said something like “let’s make out” or “i want to make out with you” and she just started making out with him, very very catholic way to go about things, typical religious person, pulls a religion card to use against someone else yet goes against it all herself just because she’s not the top girl on the block anymore, and alejandro is slated to be the summer song, personally i think california gurls should be but snoop shouldn’t be in it, kinda ruins the feel of it, even though snoops the shit, speaking of snoop, when they show snoop and katy at the studio she has a giant cock statue or dildo and a hookah in the studio and then she walks out of camera view while they’re filming snoop and you can hear the hookah bubbling, what could katy be doing, good catholic girl, and whats with this fuck tard russel brand she’s seeing “the comedian who looks like a rockstar” for one he’s not funny SO HE’S NOT A FUCKING COMEDIAN!!!!!! and he doesn’t look like a rockstar he’s way to feminine he looks more like he should be in the circus as a bearded woman, he’s way to feminine…. wow, i can’t believe i got that much bitching because of katy perry, i just hate people pulling religious cards when they are a walking blasphemer themselves, ok, let’s not lie, i just hate

people drive me crazy, what else is new right, so i coined a new term for one of the groups of people that drive me really crazy, homo-pseudiens, for the window lickers out there this means fake people, see homo-sapien is a human being, ok, we got that, alrighy then, now for the next step, the hard part pseudo means artificial or fake, you see that, ok, fucking fancy right, that lesson was brought to you once again and as usual by the letter F and the number U. now the thing that makes homo-pseudiens© so dangerous is that they are tricky little buggers, you don’t know they are fake at first, they get all up in your life, they snuggle in real good, sometimes becoming are girlfriend or boyfriend before they’re all like “TELL ‘EM LARGE MARGE SENT YA’ MUAHAHAHAHAHA”. the easiest way to deal with them once exposed is to smile and slowly back away, trust me on this. homo-pseudiens suck because they can drive you fucking crazy, trust me, my anxiety goes apeshit because of these people, i feel like a fucking muppet running around with my little muppet arms flailing in the air looking for a razor to gash my fuzzy wrists and watch the fluff spill everywhere, so be on the look out for homo-pseudiens and fear them my friends, fear them. um, well, and watch for signs, saying the like something but never doing it or not knowing anything about it, saying one thing and always doing another, name dropping of people you know who you know they don’t, watch for the lies