Ægrus Somnium

it is the eve of the rapture and there is some very important stuff that should be known, and I feel I should be the one to tell those who don’t know, you know, being an ordained reverend and all it’s my place to do so. ok, so before tomorrow comes and you just sitting around talking to a friend and the clock strikes six and poof he’s gone, you should understand whats supposed to be going on,  this is to the best of my knowledge anyways, at 6pm, not sure what time zone god is going by here, is it still god or are we still throwing god out the window and saying jesus is a schizophrenic and his own father who yelled to himself while nailed to the cross? anyways, back on track, at 6pm all the non sinners, maybe even light sinners will poof and be whooshed away to the promised land and the sinners will remain for five more months until oct. 21 when god blows up the earth and universe, so all of you people stuck with me get to fucking rock out and party like its, well, not like, til the end of the world, rock on!, so here’s a list you NEED to read to be prepared

1. tonight and most of tomorrow, or at least from 5:30pm to 6 pray to all known gods, get a list from wiki it’s the most reliable source, why all, because every religion says it’s right and you DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RAPTURE!

2. wear clean underwear, you don’t know where the fuck you going, you want to be presentable, bring an extra pair as well in case you shit yourself during the “whooshing”

3. harold camping who predicted the rapture will happen tomorrow predicted it would also happen in Sept. of ‘94 so if you really hold any faith in this and believe him and really honestly think he’s right then guess what, he was probably right back in ‘94 and we’re all sinners stuck here and he can’t handle the fact he was one of us sinners, which explains the new date, he’s hoping for a mulligan

now, my belief is that he accidently drank from the kool-aid meant for his followers before predicting this instead of drinking from his glass of water, but that’s just me, rev. halo signing off

addendum: i forgot to mention this, in camping’s rapture prediction, if someone died before the day of rapture, you will not be affected by the judgment, so the day of judgment finally comes but fuck off, you died too soon you dumb ass, you stay dead

so as I was getting out of the shower I was thinking of what to wear today, shorts or pants, it’s a bit chilly, then a shirt came to mind, my Clockwork Orange based “Moloko Vellocet” shirt, and then I started thinking about how so many people dislike the film and how they’re decision to dislike the film is mislead in a way, yeah that’s how my mind bounces around, but here’s why people are mislead. like, hoy shit I used a period, ok, anyways, like most movies they are based on bookies, so was A Clockwork Orange by Kubrick, by herein lies the problem his movie was based on the american version of the book NOT the true version of the book, the true version of the book has 21 chapters, the american version has 20, when the book came to america they decided to remove the last chapter to better suit the american audience, every other place in the world that got the book had the full book, now if you’ve seen the movie and not read the book, or read the book before we got the revised edition you know it ends with Alex still up to his old games, in the real ending his with his new “Droogs” and see’s his old gang grown up and moved on and realizes his wasted his whole life destroying things and people, and just gets up and leaves trying to think of how to move on and change, he finally get’s it and wants to live a real life, a bit  of a turn around for old Alex and a bit of remorse if you look, to me anyways, so there is your misconception, you were mislead because publishers in the states didn’t want america to have him grow up and change in the end

now, something a bit deeper about the ending, america is shit now, excuse me for saying so but let me explain, we coddle everyone now, kids can’t play games someone wins because another’s feelings may get hurt, no playing cops and robbers and making a gun out of your fingers in kindergarten, that may lead to a life of crime, wear pillows on the sides of your head in case you fall and go boom, now look at the way it was when that book came out in the 60’s, they took out the fucking chapter where he learns his lesson and left him as a villain, a rapist killer because america would like it better, I’m not saying that’s what we need but when did everything need to be pre-chewed and spit in our mouths so we shouldn’t choke

oh metacritic, you will be missed, i always went to metacritic for movie/game reviews to see what user’s/viewer’s thought, not paid/bribed reviewers, it seem’s the days of metacritic have come and gone, i went to see what the reviews for the remake of “I Spit on Your Grave” were, btw this movie hardcore exploitation at it’s peak and should never have been remade i think one review knew it was a remake, and he said it was n where near as bad as the original, they just extended the harsh scene and added more gore, and this is the part of metacritic that appalled me, the user CarlosAugusto15 gave the movie a 9 out of 10 with this review “The movie is good. I have not seen yet, but I saw the trailer, it will be good. A cool suspense, the actors are great, this movie has suspense from beginning to end.”, fuck you, your piece of shit, thank you for destroying the rating system on what was a great rating site, may you walk from your house, be dragged several country blocks, not be noticed as your body comes lose from the car, several dogs run a chain on your corpse, then small rodents and insects proceed to make a home of your corpse and feast upon it until there is nothing left and the a ditch becomes your unmarked grave

so i go this email today, i’m going to include the email address as i see it and subject as well as the content and my reply for your enjoyment, i found it amusing lol:

From:
Michael Ayon <janet88703@ mixmail.com>

Subject:
"Thought regarding your website \"aegrussomnium.com\""

Content:
Dear Web Owner,
Want more clients and customers? We will help them find you by putting you on the 1st page of Google. Email us back to get a full proposal
____________________________________________
Sincerely
Mishon vicks
2510 LAS POSAS RD, STE G
CAMARILLO, CA 93010 – USA
____________________________________________

my reply:

i’m glad you think so highly of my site to offer to help, but so low of it that you use a program to pull the site and however many others from the web and stick them in the subject like, would look a little more sincere and not botted if you took out the \" \"" from before and after the site name, and your email address needs a little work as well, say’s your name is micheal ayon, then the email address says janet (janet88703@ mixmail.com), and then you signed the email mishon vicks, if i didn’t have a professional seo in my immediate family i think i would definately avoid one who uses an app to spam the web for clients and has multiple personality disorder, c’mon john, get it together

i was just thinking, lots of people have ugly babies right when they are born and the parents are always in denial and we always have to be like "oh he/she (sometimes literally) is so cute/pretty", but in nearly 90% of the cases babies have the “uglies” when they are born and turn out cute as hell, but alas, there is a dark side, the side we don’t like to mention, the "cutsies" the unfortunate ones, the adorable little babies, the ones who are reversed, they are cute as hell when born and just turn ugly, in nearly 90% of these cases when the child starts getting around the 7-8 month mark and growing out of the “cutsies” the parents realize what they have created and make a *bag baby, in most cases this is the best thing you can do, save your child the ridicule, embarrassment, beatings, and suffering of being alone their whole life, so please, please keep making “uglies” and if you have a “cutsie” pray to whichever deity you so choose that they stay a “cutsie”, we are also taking donations here at aegrussomnium.com to supply parents of “cutsies” with “cutsie packages” (pamphlets, grief counseling, materials), the packages are distributed by hospitals, directly at the maternity ward to the parents, any denomination is welcome, please make checks payable to the Bag-a-Cutsie Foundation, thank you

*bag baby – when a baby is placed in a burlap bag with a brick and tossed into a body of water