Ægrus Somnium

people drive me crazy, what else is new right, so i coined a new term for one of the groups of people that drive me really crazy, homo-pseudiens, for the window lickers out there this means fake people, see homo-sapien is a human being, ok, we got that, alrighy then, now for the next step, the hard part pseudo means artificial or fake, you see that, ok, fucking fancy right, that lesson was brought to you once again and as usual by the letter F and the number U. now the thing that makes homo-pseudiens© so dangerous is that they are tricky little buggers, you don’t know they are fake at first, they get all up in your life, they snuggle in real good, sometimes becoming are girlfriend or boyfriend before they’re all like “TELL ‘EM LARGE MARGE SENT YA’ MUAHAHAHAHAHA”. the easiest way to deal with them once exposed is to smile and slowly back away, trust me on this. homo-pseudiens suck because they can drive you fucking crazy, trust me, my anxiety goes apeshit because of these people, i feel like a fucking muppet running around with my little muppet arms flailing in the air looking for a razor to gash my fuzzy wrists and watch the fluff spill everywhere, so be on the look out for homo-pseudiens and fear them my friends, fear them. um, well, and watch for signs, saying the like something but never doing it or not knowing anything about it, saying one thing and always doing another, name dropping of people you know who you know they don’t, watch for the lies

ok, so during a format a few months back, and an os change i, being a dumbshit, forgot to backup my game catalog database and am going through today with my little catscan barcode scanner adding them all back to the database, and behold, an interesting surprise. Now for this surprise to make sense we have to go back nearly 10 years or something like that to the days of the N64, now we used to do a bit of the underage drinking and try and play tetrisphere on that sucker, yeah, that went well, but golden eye rocked, anyways, back on topic, every single 3rd party memory card we bought for the N64 came with a savegame file for WaveRace 64, we never understood this, no flash forward to today, I’m scanning my games into my collectorz program and the game Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life scans up as WaveRace: Blue Storm, who the hell out there is trying to force WaveRace down our throats, it’s a fucking conspiracy…. A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!! all making me type in the numbers below the barcode and shit because the actual barcode doesn’t match the number sequence WTF!

ok, i write about a lot of interesting things, or try to at least, and rant about a lot, but this has me very intrigued, when i got married a great friend of mine from my high school days was at the wedding with her husband and was telling me about a vietnamese friend of his who would bring him bottles of alcohol with a cobra in them, this intrigued me, time went by and i forgot about it and lately we’ve been on an absinthe kick and looking at other interesting alcohols to try, a very very short time ago said friend had her first child, YAY!!!!, and we went to visit and her husband brought out a bottle of the alcohol with the king cobra in it, now i was truly amazed, i needed this, it must be in my collection, so i began doing what i do and researching it:

yes my beloved readers, that is truly a real king cobra in the bottle, thus you have snake wine, so i was searching and thinking this can’t be easy to get, his friend must be bringing it into the country when he journeys home to vietnam when boom, http://www.asiansnakewine.com/ , you can just buy yourself a bottle, this is simply fucking amazing, they have ones with scorpions hanging out of the cobras mouth as well, and not only that, the tell you how you can refill the bottle with your own variations of alcohol to make different types of snake wines once you finish drinking the bottle you have purchased how amazing of a company is that, simply astounding, go my people, by yourselves a bottle, get wasted, tie the snake around your head and run down the streets like a warrior!!!!!

the title doesn’t make any sense so ignore it, i just feel like being angry at myself right now because stupid shit triggered my anxiety then i remembered the movie the cell where she could go in peoples heads and help them, they need to make that shit a reality, i want to get inside my head and beat the shit out of a physical embodiment of my issues, wouldn’t that be awesome to do, yeah, thats actually all i have to say, i’ll have a real update soon, something  stupid as usual

so the woman piece is gonna be writing on the site now as well, and she better do good or she might “run into the door” a few more times, but anyways, she’ll be posting now so enjoy her posts, and my pain since she forced me into this situation, this was not a decision to be made lightly, see, i was forced to wear one of these until i told her she could post:

until i told her she could use my site as well, sorry, “our” site, and my dear friends, i held out as long as i could as the title of this post illustrates, but only those who have worn one of those evil, menacing, maniacal devices knows the pain of getting aroused while wearing one, and she made sure that there was porn on every tv, porn pictures everywhere even in the fucking fridge, she even went as far as to put porn audio on my ipod in place of all my old songs (thousands) and took the time to keep the songs real names, fucking E VILE