Ægrus Somnium

Yes, YEEEEEEES!!!!! a serious post, or no i guess depending on who’s reading, but if you don’t like my serious stuff i got a steamer brewing in my intestines you can eat in an hour or two, should be a nice moist tasty one since dinner was awesome last night. Anyways there was an incident today which got me thinking about humanity and are need to self destruct, from the smallest of things to the grand scale of scientist’s trying to destroy us all and war, its interesting that we’re like one of the only species that does this, now, i don’t fucking feel like doing research so we may be the only species and this is all based on what i have heard and seen. So on the grand scale for examples we have bullshit like these wars for fucking oil and shit like that and that seems to be a very touchy subject with people “no, we’re over there fighting because they attacked the world trade centers”, really? then why aren’t we hunting bin laden anymore and why was everyone satisfied when we got saddam who had nothing to do with it, fuck off. Then we get down to the plain bizarre and stupid.

“hey scientist 1 i’ve got this great idea, lets shoot a missile at the boon and see if it makes a giant hole and we can see if there’s traces of water”, “hey scientist 2, that’s a cool idea but what if we fuck up and split the moons into pieces and throw off the earths gravitational pole throwing us off into space or into another planet or into the sun and we all die”, “well scientist 1, then we’ll all die and no one will remember”, “very true scientist 2, i’m game.” Now along the line of scientist we have the people working on artificial intelligence who straight up say that if they make a machine that can think for itself it’s pretty likely it will be just like it happened in terminator, they’ll realize we’re a flaw and destroy us. Now here’s the kicker, they’re still working on it, hahahahahaha, isn’t that fucking funny they know they’re going to kill us and they’re still trying hahahaha, oh god it kills me, seriously, how fucking stupid is that.

Ok, to step back from the global level to the individual level, as a person we all do this as well and don’t really think about it, simple things. drinking, smoking, drugs all of this is self destructive behavior, there’s also my personal favorites, piercings and tattoos, nothing is as sexy as a girl with a lip ring *drool* seriously, just a little thing of mine. We also have a thing about destroying relationships, i’m guilty of this, when me and my now wife we’re together in the beginning it was great, then i was jealous all the time and never believed her about guys she talked too, yes i was an ass and it was stupid, in slight defense of myself she would always defend these guys she barely knew over me even if i was right which made things worse, and we fought and i beat the shit out of her, ok, i didn’t, or did i…. hmmmm, ponder that, obviously we got passed that but this just all goes to the point that we drive ourselves to self destruction for no reason, we destroy our earth, pollute our waters, chop down all the trees that we need for oxygen and overpopulate, just a very interesting thing to sit back and think about sometime, try it, maybe you’ll get some of my hatred for humanity

ok, so i got really tired of using condoms and we’ve both agreed on only having one kid so i set out in search of another method aside from getting my boys snipped and i stumbled on this little device called an iud. i called a doctors office and the assholes must not accept my insurance because they just hung up on me, pricks, so next best thing, the almighty ebay. i ordered myself an iud and figured this couldn’t be to hard to do, and yes, i read all the sellers reviews and he had 50,000+ sales and 98.8 rating so he is a very trusted seller so i felt more then safe ordering it. this is the one i purchased (photo taken from his ebay page:

can’t remember the company that put it out, but it doesn’t really matter, now i understand that these kill sperm on contact or something to that effect so in order for them to work the sperm must come in contact with them so sensible way that it could work is to be inserted into my urethra, and looking at the thing and with just a little common sense you can tell the arms flex down and it has a string to remove it once its time frame runs out (which to my understanding is like 5 years or something). ok, so first of all, this thing was fucking painful as hell to insert, make sure your not flapping in the breeze or it’s not going in, and it felt like it was tearing all the way in, thats when things felt wrong, the thing had no give so thats portion stayed stiff. when i needed to urinate it burned and bled bad, aside from that i had to force it out due to the thing nearly plugging my urethra shut, imagine back to when you where a kid and played with a hose, you’d put your thumb over the end to get more pressure and spray it further, it’s kinda like that, so now i literally have no aim and there’s bloody urine splatters all over the wall until i find out which direction it’s coming out and can then aim. now the very worst part, it’s fucking stuck, the arm’s are like fucking fish hooks, like an anchor, sure they flexed down to go in but its like and umbrella it can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up, it’s horrible, i tried a quick tug and nearly passed out and bled horribly for a while. i’m a bit embarrassed to go to the doctors, i’m thinking maybe a twisting motion as i pull may keep the arms at bay, i’m really not sure, or maybe a straw to slide up around it thats slightly wider and perhaps it’ll go around the arms, either way fucking avoid these things and just stick with a condom, who the fuck invented this death trap, jesus.

"The 2009 Toys"R"Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids has arrived!", how many damn pc terms do we need, this one doesn’t even make sense to me, differently-abled? "I was born with no arms, but I’m not handicap, I’m differently-abled" Really? so what are you so able to do? you seem less-abled, "little jimmy was born severely retarded, he can’t even breathe on his own, but he’s not retarded, he’s differently-abled, ah, I see, he’s able to shit his pants and not know it, lucky little bastard, if I shit my pants I’d be ashamed. Wait, now I figured it out, this special ability is no shame, now it makes sense, , now I think I’m kinda jealous, I want to be Differently-Abled so I can do anything and get away with it. Either way what happened to terms like special needs and handicapped I thought they we’re perfectly PC, when did they become so insulting, hell, back when my mother worked with the little tards it was in the handbook that is was acceptable to call them idiots and such, but suddenly everyone has everyone has rights, even if they are mutants, remember people, some of them, the down syndrome kids have an extra chromosome and we covered this, more is better, they are superior, they just haven’t come to realize their powers and take over the world yet, and when they do you’ll regret all the waterhead comments.

ok, i’m going to take a step in a different direction to and go against my norm, instead of the usual bullshit today i’m going to just bitch about some things that have pissed me off

first, this whole, “go green” bullshit has been pissing me off, we’ve got low emission cars, hybrid cars, bio diesel cars, and now they’re working on hydrogen cars that emit only water, sweet, nothing beats driving around on a hydrogen bomb, that sounds fun, well you know what you green fuckers, fuck all that bullshit, your hybrid still uses fossil fuels, fuck your low emission, low emission only means it is less then it was before, who knows how much less, sure it’s pretty fucking miniscule with the ratio of people driving these days anyways, you want to fucking go green get a fucking bike, you know those fucking pedal things that OMG have NO emession, unless your fucking farting with each pedal so try to refrain from farting as well, and guess what, riding that bike can also help you to live a bit longer by getting your fat ass into shape, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I CAN STOP POLLUTING AND GET INTO SHAPE AT THE SAME TIME, SURELY YOU JEST!!!!!!!

next, not sure if i ever bitched about the movie cloverfield before or not, can’t remember, ok, it was a pretty good movie and i really enjoyed it, but i do have a major complaint, the fucking monster design was fucking horrendous, lets see, a giant fucking monster that looks half like the Sin monster from FFX and half like a fucking ape, in the movie that make it a point to have one of the characters state how it must have come from the ocean, fuck that, the thing’s front arms are like a gorillas and it’s back limbs are like that of a crippled underdeveloped midget, there’s no fucking way that top heavy beast could swim, and on top of that they mention him eating people, well, if he’s here to eat people or eat anything living for food for that matter why do the parasites covering it’s body blow things up when biting them, thats very fucking productive, go forth my little weapons and succesfully destroy all of my possible nourishment, how perfect of a weapon is that, lame

next, i saw that move “the forbidden kingdom”, it was pretty cool, not the greatest but it was pretty good, after the movie and actualy throughout most of it i began to realize that the damn movie is basically an oriental themed remake of the neverending story, instead of an old bookshop owner who sends the kids mind into the fantasy world it’s an antique dealer, jackie chan leading him through the movie is very much like the luck dragon, there’s more that match up pretty damn good i just can’t think of anymore right now, but the whole movie made me think of neverending story

lastly, and again, don’t remember if i got to this before but it was intended, the fucking game condemned 2, condemned 1 was fucking awesome and one of my favorite games, condemned 2 on the other hand i actualy stopped playing for a bit out of annoyance, not that its a bad game but they took the cheese route in trying to make it a scary game and it pisses me off, by turning the games brightness all the way off and giving me a flashlight doesn;t make the game scary it makes it shitty, and on top of that because that obviously wasn’t enough they also had to cover all the walls with black shit so now it’s even harder to see EVEN IF YOU USE THE FLASHLIGHT, great, fucking thanks, assholes, can you get any more lazy, i mean fucking seriously, it’s bad, and if you haven’t played it yet here’s some pics i took from my tv, don’t worry it’s HD so you don’t have the funny scan lines and shit

does anybody else loathe Gamestop? I have nothing but trouble whenever I need to go there, on about 4 occasions now I got “sorry, we ran out of the preorder gifts”, would help to not give them to friends I guess, I also hate getting charged full price for the open copy of the game, just happened yet again today, I understand it’s the shelf copy, and supposedly not played, but everyone knows once something is opened the price drops, the copy of Baroque (Wii) I got today was a shelf copy but hard to find so I took it anyways, get halfway home and realize the back of the case is slashed with a razor destroying the case and sleeve, have to turn around and go all the way back because you can only return something like that to the store you got it from it seems, one occasion they took my preorder money and decided not to list it as a preorder so didn’t get the gift, still trying to find the Okami Buddha Board preorder gift for the fiancee, fiancee went there once and got me Jet Set Radio Future again, she asked them if they had it and they said they were too busy to look for the case and gave her just the game disc, so today, luckily, I found another copy and bought that just for the damn case (it’s the non dual case), it annoys me when a game goes out of print and the value rises above market price and every sealed copy Gamestop has suddenly becomes an open used copy with a price jack, how convenient, and finally, I’m tired of them doing ebay prices on used games, saw a used game in the xbox bin for $90, think it was Marvel vs Capcom, can’t remember exactly, I understand that ebayers get that much and thats why we hate ebayers for gouging prices and buying all the games to turn a profit, and now the store does it before them, doesn’t make it any better