Ægrus Somnium

ok, so i got really tired of using condoms and we’ve both agreed on only having one kid so i set out in search of another method aside from getting my boys snipped and i stumbled on this little device called an iud. i called a doctors office and the assholes must not accept my insurance because they just hung up on me, pricks, so next best thing, the almighty ebay. i ordered myself an iud and figured this couldn’t be to hard to do, and yes, i read all the sellers reviews and he had 50,000+ sales and 98.8 rating so he is a very trusted seller so i felt more then safe ordering it. this is the one i purchased (photo taken from his ebay page:

can’t remember the company that put it out, but it doesn’t really matter, now i understand that these kill sperm on contact or something to that effect so in order for them to work the sperm must come in contact with them so sensible way that it could work is to be inserted into my urethra, and looking at the thing and with just a little common sense you can tell the arms flex down and it has a string to remove it once its time frame runs out (which to my understanding is like 5 years or something). ok, so first of all, this thing was fucking painful as hell to insert, make sure your not flapping in the breeze or it’s not going in, and it felt like it was tearing all the way in, thats when things felt wrong, the thing had no give so thats portion stayed stiff. when i needed to urinate it burned and bled bad, aside from that i had to force it out due to the thing nearly plugging my urethra shut, imagine back to when you where a kid and played with a hose, you’d put your thumb over the end to get more pressure and spray it further, it’s kinda like that, so now i literally have no aim and there’s bloody urine splatters all over the wall until i find out which direction it’s coming out and can then aim. now the very worst part, it’s fucking stuck, the arm’s are like fucking fish hooks, like an anchor, sure they flexed down to go in but its like and umbrella it can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up, it’s horrible, i tried a quick tug and nearly passed out and bled horribly for a while. i’m a bit embarrassed to go to the doctors, i’m thinking maybe a twisting motion as i pull may keep the arms at bay, i’m really not sure, or maybe a straw to slide up around it thats slightly wider and perhaps it’ll go around the arms, either way fucking avoid these things and just stick with a condom, who the fuck invented this death trap, jesus.

so….yeah… i really don’t know what to think of this anymore, i’ve seen it several times and just caught this part a couple days ago and now it’s just really creepy and disturbing, what kind of antics go on in this factory. Now i would never buy one of their computers in the first place anyways, but from the looks of what’s going on her you may get a little special treat on your comp, maybe some mammal sauce, or some short and curly’s, who knows, now you watch it and if you don’t see it read on

ok, so if you didn’t catch it, the commercial starts with a black guy standing there in the dark and putting his helmet back on and starting to sing the lollipop song, the lights then come on and a white guy stands up right next to him and is finishing putting his pants/overalls back on, the look at each other, smile and the black guy gives a little nod, so what exactly were they doing, and the song just makes it that much worse

so i’m sitting here minding my own business and bam, like a horse biting your testes, two faces pop in my head and i’m just like holy fuck, thats uncanny, could it be they’re the same person, so i googled up some images and it’s still uncanny how much they look alike, so i’m trying to figure this out and then i realize whats going on, heath ledger is a fucking vampire, he acts for a bit, builds up some money, fakes his death and takes off living off the large some of money he made, then he resurfaces years later and does it all again, sneaky little bastard, ok, here’s the two images that popped in my head, first, from the movie the warriors (1979), great movie btw, if you haven’t seen it your gay, and if your a chic, you just dumb:

now look closely at the main characters face, look familiar, yeah, i thought so too, now for comparison:

you see that shit, he’s a fucking vampire, so you just wait 30 or so years and you’ll see another actor that looks like him appearing in movies again, you just wait and see

this is hilarious, kids are pathetic when it comes to this game, I played WoW before, on several occasions, and on several occasions I got bored, cancelled my account and went on to different mmo’s, right now I have LotRO going and haven’t played it in a month or two, i should probably cancel it since it’s costing money, they’re only addictive if your a weak minded tool(btw, the second vid is an oldie)…..

found this picture a while back and it went right to my “funny pics” folder, the title pretty much says it all though