Ægrus Somnium

i was just thinking, lots of people have ugly babies right when they are born and the parents are always in denial and we always have to be like "oh he/she (sometimes literally) is so cute/pretty", but in nearly 90% of the cases babies have the “uglies” when they are born and turn out cute as hell, but alas, there is a dark side, the side we don’t like to mention, the "cutsies" the unfortunate ones, the adorable little babies, the ones who are reversed, they are cute as hell when born and just turn ugly, in nearly 90% of these cases when the child starts getting around the 7-8 month mark and growing out of the “cutsies” the parents realize what they have created and make a *bag baby, in most cases this is the best thing you can do, save your child the ridicule, embarrassment, beatings, and suffering of being alone their whole life, so please, please keep making “uglies” and if you have a “cutsie” pray to whichever deity you so choose that they stay a “cutsie”, we are also taking donations here at aegrussomnium.com to supply parents of “cutsies” with “cutsie packages” (pamphlets, grief counseling, materials), the packages are distributed by hospitals, directly at the maternity ward to the parents, any denomination is welcome, please make checks payable to the Bag-a-Cutsie Foundation, thank you

*bag baby – when a baby is placed in a burlap bag with a brick and tossed into a body of water

so i just got done flushing a healthy serving of food to my captives in the septic tank, it’s a good place for them, it’s not to deep for a night dig, it’s out of site, cement walls and "water" to dampen the sounds, for added security i put cinderblocks on their thighs and superglue a snorkel in their mouth, its a bit more work because you gotta do a bit more monitoring and make sure they understand to swallow the "food" thats around them through the snorkel then blow out the extra so they can breath, and make sure the levels don’t get to high to get up past their nostrils and such, but a little night vision webcam helps with that, obviously this portion needs to be taken into consideration while building the septic tank, and you do want to build it yourself, but you want to run the wires IN the cement so they come out beneath the septic and into your house through some kind of thin durable casing, into your basement and through your walls, if you do it all willy nilly the wires will be seen and your a dumb fuck who deserves to be caught, and thats all i’m saying on this subject

so the woman piece is gonna be writing on the site now as well, and she better do good or she might “run into the door” a few more times, but anyways, she’ll be posting now so enjoy her posts, and my pain since she forced me into this situation, this was not a decision to be made lightly, see, i was forced to wear one of these until i told her she could post:

until i told her she could use my site as well, sorry, “our” site, and my dear friends, i held out as long as i could as the title of this post illustrates, but only those who have worn one of those evil, menacing, maniacal devices knows the pain of getting aroused while wearing one, and she made sure that there was porn on every tv, porn pictures everywhere even in the fucking fridge, she even went as far as to put porn audio on my ipod in place of all my old songs (thousands) and took the time to keep the songs real names, fucking E VILE

ok, so i got really tired of using condoms and we’ve both agreed on only having one kid so i set out in search of another method aside from getting my boys snipped and i stumbled on this little device called an iud. i called a doctors office and the assholes must not accept my insurance because they just hung up on me, pricks, so next best thing, the almighty ebay. i ordered myself an iud and figured this couldn’t be to hard to do, and yes, i read all the sellers reviews and he had 50,000+ sales and 98.8 rating so he is a very trusted seller so i felt more then safe ordering it. this is the one i purchased (photo taken from his ebay page:

can’t remember the company that put it out, but it doesn’t really matter, now i understand that these kill sperm on contact or something to that effect so in order for them to work the sperm must come in contact with them so sensible way that it could work is to be inserted into my urethra, and looking at the thing and with just a little common sense you can tell the arms flex down and it has a string to remove it once its time frame runs out (which to my understanding is like 5 years or something). ok, so first of all, this thing was fucking painful as hell to insert, make sure your not flapping in the breeze or it’s not going in, and it felt like it was tearing all the way in, thats when things felt wrong, the thing had no give so thats portion stayed stiff. when i needed to urinate it burned and bled bad, aside from that i had to force it out due to the thing nearly plugging my urethra shut, imagine back to when you where a kid and played with a hose, you’d put your thumb over the end to get more pressure and spray it further, it’s kinda like that, so now i literally have no aim and there’s bloody urine splatters all over the wall until i find out which direction it’s coming out and can then aim. now the very worst part, it’s fucking stuck, the arm’s are like fucking fish hooks, like an anchor, sure they flexed down to go in but its like and umbrella it can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up, it’s horrible, i tried a quick tug and nearly passed out and bled horribly for a while. i’m a bit embarrassed to go to the doctors, i’m thinking maybe a twisting motion as i pull may keep the arms at bay, i’m really not sure, or maybe a straw to slide up around it thats slightly wider and perhaps it’ll go around the arms, either way fucking avoid these things and just stick with a condom, who the fuck invented this death trap, jesus.