until i told her she could use my site as well, sorry, “our” site, and my dear friends, i held out as long as i could as the title of this post illustrates, but only those who have worn one of those evil, menacing, maniacal devices knows the pain of getting aroused while wearing one, and she made sure that there was porn on every tv, porn pictures everywhere even in the fucking fridge, she even went as far as to put porn audio on my ipod in place of all my old songs (thousands) and took the time to keep the songs real names, fucking E VILE

can’t remember the company that put it out, but it doesn’t really matter, now i understand that these kill sperm on contact or something to that effect so in order for them to work the sperm must come in contact with them so sensible way that it could work is to be inserted into my urethra, and looking at the thing and with just a little common sense you can tell the arms flex down and it has a string to remove it once its time frame runs out (which to my understanding is like 5 years or something). ok, so first of all, this thing was fucking painful as hell to insert, make sure your not flapping in the breeze or it’s not going in, and it felt like it was tearing all the way in, thats when things felt wrong, the thing had no give so thats portion stayed stiff. when i needed to urinate it burned and bled bad, aside from that i had to force it out due to the thing nearly plugging my urethra shut, imagine back to when you where a kid and played with a hose, you’d put your thumb over the end to get more pressure and spray it further, it’s kinda like that, so now i literally have no aim and there’s bloody urine splatters all over the wall until i find out which direction it’s coming out and can then aim. now the very worst part, it’s fucking stuck, the arm’s are like fucking fish hooks, like an anchor, sure they flexed down to go in but its like and umbrella it can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up, it’s horrible, i tried a quick tug and nearly passed out and bled horribly for a while. i’m a bit embarrassed to go to the doctors, i’m thinking maybe a twisting motion as i pull may keep the arms at bay, i’m really not sure, or maybe a straw to slide up around it thats slightly wider and perhaps it’ll go around the arms, either way fucking avoid these things and just stick with a condom, who the fuck invented this death trap, jesus.

ok, so if you didn’t catch it, the commercial starts with a black guy standing there in the dark and putting his helmet back on and starting to sing the lollipop song, the lights then come on and a white guy stands up right next to him and is finishing putting his pants/overalls back on, the look at each other, smile and the black guy gives a little nod, so what exactly were they doing, and the song just makes it that much worse