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	<title>Ægrus Somnium &#187; Humorous</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.aegrussomnium.com/category/humorous/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com</link>
	<description>Sick//Dreams</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:20:11 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
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		<title>I love me some email scams&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/i-love-me-some-email-scams/</link>
		<comments>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/i-love-me-some-email-scams/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Jul 2010 19:21:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Pariah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humorous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make me Rich from one of these Shams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toil an Ham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.aegrussomnium.com/i-love-me-some-email-scams/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[so i got a new one, i get lots because of this site and my e-mail address right on it so i may have to hide it somehow, although it’s supposed to be hidden by some plugin i have, guess it doesn’t work so well, i got the fbi wanting to give me money, and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>so i got a new one, i get lots because of this site and my e-mail address right on it so i may have to hide it somehow, although it’s supposed to be hidden by some plugin i have, guess it doesn’t work so well, i got the fbi wanting to give me money, and middle eastern men, and ryalty, i’m gonna be filthy stinken rich, but this one was a nice one, a religious one, here is the letter and my reply, enjoy:</p>
<p>“My Dearest in christ,    <br />My name is Mrs.&#160; mariam touray&#160; a nationality of Kuwait. I am married to late Mr. Emma touray&#160; whom worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine&#160; years before he died in the year Octorber 2003. We were married for twenty years with a child. He died after an illness that lasted for four weeks. Please I know this may come to you by suprise , because you did not know me, I needed your assistance that was why I write you through divine direction, it is my desire of going into relationship with you. </p>
<p>Before his death we were both born again Christians.When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of&#160; (Ten Million&#160; U.S.Dollars) with one of good banks here in Cote d&#8217;Ivoire Presently, this money is still with the bank. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem,though what disturbs me most is my stroke.&#160; Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.I want a person or church that will use this fund to churches,orphanages, research centres and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.    <br />The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I have a child that will inherit this money but my son can not&#160; carryout this work only because i and my late husband decide to use some of the money to work for God and live some for our son to have a better live.our son is just 17yearold now and been grow up in africa, he have low manterity and my husbands relatives are not Christians and I dont want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers,I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.     <br />I will like you to understand that my contact to you is a divine direction from God , I don&#8217;t&#160; want any of my husband family relatives to receive this money but I know that&#160; With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact&#160; of the Finance/bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the&#160; church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a worthy Christian.Whoever that wants to serve the&#160; Lord must serve him in spirit and truth,Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for&#160; a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here and Please I will like you to contact me Immediately you receive this mail so that I will instruct the Bank to ! transfer this fund into your account. </p>
<p>Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.    <br />Mrs.&#160; mariam touray&#160; and Son Johnson.     <br /><span class="mh-hyperlinked"><a href='http://mailhide.recaptcha.net/d?k=018m2Z1etuZuDWlPeGiadorw==&c=biL_l8sLha2SlpOnYbwS1spEDLvD2YUA7jSWIXc0P5o=' onclick="window.open('http://mailhide.recaptcha.net/d?k=018m2Z1etuZuDWlPeGiadorw==&amp;c=biL_l8sLha2SlpOnYbwS1spEDLvD2YUA7jSWIXc0P5o=', '', 'toolbar=0,scrollbars=0,location=0,statusbar=0,menubar=0,resizable=0,width=500,height=300'); return false;">mariam.touray@mail.mn</a></span>”</p>
<p>wasn’t that a nice letter. well, i reply now and then, sometimes i twist one of the other letters and send them back an offer, this time i just offered some helpful advice to the scammer</p>
<p>“My Dearest in christ,    <br />I am very anti religion and would get the utmost pleasure out of not helping such an obvious scam especially one using religion as a ploy, may you be blessed in your many ridiculous attempts at scamming idiots out of there money, keep up the religious route, those people are usually the easiest to scam, hell, they freely hand over their money weekly.”</p>
<p>don’t hate the player, hate the game, peace nigga    <br /><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: 0px" border="0" align="right" src="http://www.aegrussomnium.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/hsig.png" /></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pythons in NYC &amp; Florida</title>
		<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/pythons-in-nyc-florida/</link>
		<comments>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/pythons-in-nyc-florida/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Apr 2010 06:10:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Pariah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humorous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Serious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pythons]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.aegrussomnium.com/pythons-in-nyc-florida/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ok, 2 updates in a day, woohoo. i was watching a show on tv today, some monsterhunter show or something on the history channel and they were looking to see if pythons live in nyc and florida and they found like one little baby in nyc so it was inconclusive there and found a few [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>ok, 2 updates in a day, woohoo. i was watching a show on tv today, some monsterhunter show or something on the history channel and they were looking to see if pythons live in nyc and florida and they found like one little baby in nyc so it was inconclusive there and found a few in florida so they think they do in did now habitat southern florida and they were like terrified at handling the pythons so i feel i must inform my readers on what to do in case you may one day find yourself 1 on 1 with one of natures deadliest hunters.</p>
<p>1. do not panic, these things are pure blooded killers as the tv show as the tv show made them appear anyways   <br />2. very very very normaly walk away    <br />3. this is VERY VERY VERY important DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT for whatever reason lie on the ground in a dormant position long enough for the python to coil about you and crush you</p>
<p>*sigh of relief* ok, now that we got that covered you can all sleep better, the fact is they made them out so much worse then they are, pythons are non venomous constrictors so just walk away, if your too big to eat it’s pretty much a 100% chance it’s not going to bug you unless you provoke it, yes they do bite, yes it does hurt, and the teeth are curved so you gotta wait til it lets go or if someone is with you have them pry the mouth open as you push whatever has been bit inwards to force the teeth out and jaw open and basically don’t let it wrap around you, very simple, they had 2 guys catch one, put it in a box and then were all like freaking out like they just caught an Inland Taipan, the worlds most venomous snake (one bite has enough poison to kill 100 humans)</p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>$3,960 Cristal</title>
		<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/3960-cristal/</link>
		<comments>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/3960-cristal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Feb 2010 18:10:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Pariah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humorous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cristal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eminem]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.aegrussomnium.com/3960-cristal/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[damn that shit is expensive and thats a 1999 vintage, now i’m not big on this shit and i know thats a champagne but in the wine industry isn’t a 1999 vintage kinda new and like crap/cheap, obviously not as cheap as a 2009 but thats not that old but i guess for the rappers [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>damn that shit is expensive and thats a 1999 vintage, now i’m not big on this shit and i know thats a champagne but in the wine industry isn’t a 1999 vintage kinda new and like crap/cheap, obviously not as cheap as a 2009 but thats not that old but i guess for the rappers who go nuts for this shit the price gets all jacked up because only a few of their careers last this long, you got like Dre and snoop and a few others, and can see it now Dre wakes up in the morning rolls over in bed to his beautiful wife Eminem, wakes him from his beauty sleep, there’s a little dried , well, to keep it pg i’ll say drool crust in the corner of his mouth and wakes him from his beauty sleep and asks him to go down to the wine celler and crack open a bottle of the finest vintage ‘99 bottle of cristal</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ninja Parade</title>
		<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/ninja-parade/</link>
		<comments>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/ninja-parade/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2009 02:43:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Pariah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humorous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ninjas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parade]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.aegrussomnium.com/ninja-parade/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m glad to see at least one town celebrates them]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m glad to see at least one town celebrates them</p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unique Sites</title>
		<link>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/unique-sites/</link>
		<comments>http://www.aegrussomnium.com/unique-sites/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:59:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Pariah</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humorous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unique Websites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.aegrussomnium.com/unique-sites/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over the years of browsing the web I have come across several unique sites, some very odd, some very disturbing, some funny, some plain sad, or unnavigable, even some selling very unique products. I’ve put together a collection of a some good ones below for you to check out, you may have seen some of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Over the years of browsing the web I have come across several unique sites, some very odd, some very disturbing, some funny, some plain sad, or unnavigable, even some selling very unique products. I’ve put together a collection of a some good ones below for you to check out, you may have seen some of them before, or maybe not. There’s also a little description of each one so you know what your getting yourself into.</p>
<p>this first page sells very unique products, like anti theft lunch bags that come with printed mold stains:<br />
<a href="http://www.thinkofthe.com/" target="_blank">http://www.thinkofthe.com/</a></p>
<p>ever wanted to make your own drum loop, well here ya go:<br />
<a href="http://www.themaninblue.com/experiment/JS-909/" target="_blank">http://www.themaninblue.com/experiment/JS-909/</a></p>
<p>this site will flip the text you type upside down and allow you to copy and paste it elsewhere:<br />
<a href="http://fliptitle.com/" target="_blank">http://fliptitle.com/</a></p>
<p>this page is kind of funny, it analyzes the gender of a websites creator by how it’s written, I did my site and it was accurate, give it a try:<br />
<a href="http://genderanalyzer.com/" target="_blank">http://genderanalyzer.com/</a></p>
<p>the end of the internet, enough said:<br />
<a href="http://www.shibumi.org/eoti/index.htm" target="_blank">http://www.shibumi.org/eoti/index.htm</a></p>
<p>every time you refresh this page it gives you unnecessary and generally useless knowledge:<br />
<a href="http://www.unkno.com/" target="_blank">http://www.unkno.com/</a></p>
<p>for all the jokers out there, an instant rimshot to end your jokes at the push of a button:<br />
<a href="http://www.instantrimshot.com/" target="_blank">http://www.instantrimshot.com/</a></p>
<p>this is a cool gallery of manhole covers in france I’m assuming, lots of cool pictures:<br />
<a href="http://www.manhole-covers.net/galerie/slide.php3?f=0" target="_blank">http://www.manhole-covers.net/galerie/slide.php3?f=0</a></p>
<p>instances of exploding animals, such as bats used as incendiary devices:<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Exploding_animals" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Exploding_animals</a></p>
<p>Eschers “Ascending and Descending” made with Legos:<br />
<a href="http://www.andrewlipson.com/escher/ascending.html" target="_blank">http://www.andrewlipson.com/escher/ascending.html</a></p>
<p>the most useless site in the world, it just tracks how many seconds you’ve been looking at the page, you can register and log in to keep total track I think:<br />
<a href="http://themostseconds.com/" target="_blank">http://themostseconds.com/</a></p>
<p>this guy will do many things for your money, his services are listed, from making phones calls to coming to hang out with you anywhere in the world:<br />
<a href="http://www.ijustwantyourmoney.com/" target="_blank">http://www.ijustwantyourmoney.com/</a></p>
<p>design your own tartan:<br />
<a href="http://www.tartanmaker.com/?page=index" target="_blank">http://www.tartanmaker.com/?page=index</a></p>
<p>and my all time favorite website ever made, I’ve sent so many of my friends and sometimes random people to this site, it’s the best site in the world IMO, this site has been up for a long time, you can doing anything your heart desires here:<br />
<a href="http://www.zombo.com/" target="_blank">http://www.zombo.com/</a></p>
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