Ægrus Somnium

• another fallacy added to the list
• close minded fucks
• bigotry
• emo fags
• sissy pants
• nascar
• human race in general
• war
• poverty
• american gov’t
• gerbils
• religion

I’m just bored I suppose, don’t you love how I put close minded, and bigotry in there and put all the stuff I hate lol, the truth is yeah I do hate and/or dislike many things but I don’t force my opinion down people throats, if your religious and you believe more power to you, I may think your absolutely wrong and say so here but I’m not chasing you down and forcing it upon you, I don’t run out and beat up an emo boy wearing sissy pants(skin tight girl pants), though I must admit, I do laugh at that sight, but those are my opinions and mine alone I suppose, your just wrong and going to hell for not believing them, that’s your choice though and I hate you for not conforming to whatever whim I may have, feel free to comment with things that I left off the list, there are a lot more

New Year’s Day 2011, about 2pm. Phone conversation with my father.

Dad: Just think, everything sucked so bad last year this year can’t possibly get any worse.

Me: No shit, all that can happen now is something could potentially kill me and that would be doing me a favor and we can’t have that that would be too fucking convenient.

Dad: There ya go! See what a little positive thinking will do!

That exchange really happened, my dad is the shit. By the end of 2010 my life could be summed up as a very thin and very ugly looking frail and haggard thread that could snap at any second and send me spiraling into despair so deep that only a Sylvia Plath gas bath could cure. Unlike my terminally depressed life partner, I am not usually a particularly depressed or suicidal person. I am moody, morbid, and pleasantly pessimistic, meaning that I expect everything and anything to go wrong so I am never disappointed and when something goes right for a change I can appreciate it at face value. It was absolutely a shitty year. Fuck 2010. It gave me nothing but defeat, anxiety, depression, puffy eyes, 30lbs, a mean streak, terrible health, and left me with one less Golden Girl. Fuck strokes for taking Rue McClanahan away from me when she had so much more to give us in her twilight years. There were far more celebrities that were less important than she was that could have gone in her place; like anyone that had ever been cast in a Twilight movie, Sarah Palin or Chris Brown, for Christ sake kill that bastard before he breeds little douchebag woman abusing gay bashing pieces of shit. Just leave us Kanye West, he’s good to keep around for comic relief and I like his music. If you aren’t over him interrupting Taylor Swift you can take Rue McClanahan’s place too if you like and take Taylor and her 20 songs about the same fucking thing with you that bitch is annoying. Anyway back to me. In everything terrible that has happened to me personally and to the world globally with earthquakes, economic suicide and BP’s explosive diarrhea all over the gulf coast; I wish I could say I learned something meaningful but really all that was accomplished were affirmations. Indulge me won’t you?

1. This country really is only beneficial to you if you are an illegal alien, a minority, or dead weight. If you have an education, paid into the social security system and paid taxes and suddenly lose your job, you have to fight harder than anyone to survive. Fuck that. I have been trying to find any job now for over a year and have been told that I am “overqualified” more times than I care to hear. Translation, “we don’t want to pay you because we know that you know better so we will hire this uneducated asshole that we know will work twice as much as you for peanuts. Fuck off.”

2. People really do equal shit. This cannot be stressed enough. Seldom does one give a fuck about anyone. People do NOT want to help you as a rule. As much as they try to convince you and even themselves that they do, there is usually some underlying self-serving rationale to either gain something or boost their shitty karma. Family is the worst of the culprits. They will promise you sunshine and rainbows and no sooner shit down your throat and piss in your cornflakes. Family as an institution is no longer sacred but now an excuse to have cause to hurt people without just cause. Existential punching bags that are doomed to indentured servitude and emotional tithing for life merely because of whose vag was the slip n’ slide. As a result we have written off a fair amount of familial bullshit baggage in 2010.

3. No one ever does get out alive. We worked and worried ourselves sick wondering how we would get by, how we would pay this or pay that and how I would finish school and get us out of this hell we are living. We still can’t figure any of it out as we sink deeper into financial and emotional torment. In a week I may find out that I can’t finish school even though I only have one fucking semester left because I can’t find one bank that will lend me the last little bit of financial aid I need. But even if I do and we get out of this, what the fuck is it all for? By the time we finally can breath again we are still working to get by and everyday ticks by closing in on imminent death. When you look at it in the grand scheme of things, we are wasting our lives and it is our own fault. We created the people who oppress us, who keep us from being like them and being happy and we created our misery and for now there isn’t a god damned thing to be done about it.

So what can we do about 2011? First, I will take the “we” out because really, I don’t care what you do with it since I will probably hear or read about it on Facebook anyway. However, since I am too poor to have a vice drugs and alcohol are not viable options. If I am able to finish school I won’t have time for simple pleasures like meditation or video games but will get to those if I am forced to be a loser and quit school. I plan on keeping my pleasantly pessimistic outlook but trying to leave the rest behind, it hasn’t really suited me. I am not making any resolutions because that is too much pressure and my memory sucks anyway. All there is left for me to do is be more fierce and competitive than ever. I want it all and more than anyone because I have to. I am Veruca Fucking Salt now. However, if 2011 even thinks about claiming Betty White I cannot guarantee rational behavior on my part. I leave you now with the iconic words of Ke$ha. Yes I did say Ke$ha and she wrote them all by herself and everything:

Every single night we fight,
To get a little high on life.
To get a little something right, something real.
At least we try. Time after time.
Try dodging all the douche bags guys.
Try trading all the wasted times.
For something real, in this crazy life.

so i go this email today, i’m going to include the email address as i see it and subject as well as the content and my reply for your enjoyment, i found it amusing lol:

From:
Michael Ayon <janet88703@ mixmail.com>

Subject:
"Thought regarding your website \"aegrussomnium.com\""

Content:
Dear Web Owner,
Want more clients and customers? We will help them find you by putting you on the 1st page of Google. Email us back to get a full proposal
____________________________________________
Sincerely
Mishon vicks
2510 LAS POSAS RD, STE G
CAMARILLO, CA 93010 – USA
____________________________________________

my reply:

i’m glad you think so highly of my site to offer to help, but so low of it that you use a program to pull the site and however many others from the web and stick them in the subject like, would look a little more sincere and not botted if you took out the \" \"" from before and after the site name, and your email address needs a little work as well, say’s your name is micheal ayon, then the email address says janet (janet88703@ mixmail.com), and then you signed the email mishon vicks, if i didn’t have a professional seo in my immediate family i think i would definately avoid one who uses an app to spam the web for clients and has multiple personality disorder, c’mon john, get it together

so i got a new one, i get lots because of this site and my e-mail address right on it so i may have to hide it somehow, although it’s supposed to be hidden by some plugin i have, guess it doesn’t work so well, i got the fbi wanting to give me money, and middle eastern men, and ryalty, i’m gonna be filthy stinken rich, but this one was a nice one, a religious one, here is the letter and my reply, enjoy:

“My Dearest in christ,
My name is Mrs.  mariam touray  a nationality of Kuwait. I am married to late Mr. Emma touray  whom worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine  years before he died in the year Octorber 2003. We were married for twenty years with a child. He died after an illness that lasted for four weeks. Please I know this may come to you by suprise , because you did not know me, I needed your assistance that was why I write you through divine direction, it is my desire of going into relationship with you.

Before his death we were both born again Christians.When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of  (Ten Million  U.S.Dollars) with one of good banks here in Cote d’Ivoire Presently, this money is still with the bank. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem,though what disturbs me most is my stroke.  Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.I want a person or church that will use this fund to churches,orphanages, research centres and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.
The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I have a child that will inherit this money but my son can not  carryout this work only because i and my late husband decide to use some of the money to work for God and live some for our son to have a better live.our son is just 17yearold now and been grow up in africa, he have low manterity and my husbands relatives are not Christians and I dont want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers,I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
I will like you to understand that my contact to you is a divine direction from God , I don’t  want any of my husband family relatives to receive this money but I know that  With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact  of the Finance/bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the  church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a worthy Christian.Whoever that wants to serve the  Lord must serve him in spirit and truth,Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for  a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here and Please I will like you to contact me Immediately you receive this mail so that I will instruct the Bank to ! transfer this fund into your account.

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Mrs.  mariam touray  and Son Johnson.
mariam.touray@mail.mn”

wasn’t that a nice letter. well, i reply now and then, sometimes i twist one of the other letters and send them back an offer, this time i just offered some helpful advice to the scammer

“My Dearest in christ,
I am very anti religion and would get the utmost pleasure out of not helping such an obvious scam especially one using religion as a ploy, may you be blessed in your many ridiculous attempts at scamming idiots out of there money, keep up the religious route, those people are usually the easiest to scam, hell, they freely hand over their money weekly.”

don’t hate the player, hate the game, peace nigga

ok, 2 updates in a day, woohoo. i was watching a show on tv today, some monsterhunter show or something on the history channel and they were looking to see if pythons live in nyc and florida and they found like one little baby in nyc so it was inconclusive there and found a few in florida so they think they do in did now habitat southern florida and they were like terrified at handling the pythons so i feel i must inform my readers on what to do in case you may one day find yourself 1 on 1 with one of natures deadliest hunters.

1. do not panic, these things are pure blooded killers as the tv show as the tv show made them appear anyways
2. very very very normaly walk away
3. this is VERY VERY VERY important DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT for whatever reason lie on the ground in a dormant position long enough for the python to coil about you and crush you

*sigh of relief* ok, now that we got that covered you can all sleep better, the fact is they made them out so much worse then they are, pythons are non venomous constrictors so just walk away, if your too big to eat it’s pretty much a 100% chance it’s not going to bug you unless you provoke it, yes they do bite, yes it does hurt, and the teeth are curved so you gotta wait til it lets go or if someone is with you have them pry the mouth open as you push whatever has been bit inwards to force the teeth out and jaw open and basically don’t let it wrap around you, very simple, they had 2 guys catch one, put it in a box and then were all like freaking out like they just caught an Inland Taipan, the worlds most venomous snake (one bite has enough poison to kill 100 humans)