Ægrus Somnium

I noticed a friend liked (because we cannot be fans of anything anymore) The toilet paper goes OVER the roll when you replace it, not UNDER!  I laughed and thought that was absolutely absurd (as most Facebook pages are) and that only old people I knew or those with OCD of the Marc Summers variety have ever really made any kind of blatant argument that there is a rule to putting toilet paper on a roll.  Then, I saw the commercial for the new Cottonelle Roll Over.  This is apparently a really big deal and I couldn’t give a fuck less about it.  In fact, I am actually sickened that people make such a big deal about this kind of trivial bullshit. Really?  You are really going to bitch about toilet paper?!?  I found out I actually know people who will change the roll around at OTHER PEOPLE’S HOUSES!!! Side note* If anyone ever changes the roll direction on my toilet paper no matter what direction it is in, I will go to your house and give your toilet an upper decker, then you can use all of your “rolled over’ toilet paper to reach in and scoop it out   Is you life so fucking perfect and so free of worry that you can only find meaningless things to bitch about?  Whatever happened to getting pissed off at the Senators who spend all of our money fucking their secretaries and throwing them off of bridges, or that people are more than willing to donate to Haiti while children starve in our own country.  That is stuff worth fighting and bitching over.  We as a species get caught up in so much drama and circumstantial bullshit that we actually cause upon ourselves and forget what is truly important.  The worst realization about this is that the people who do this on a regular basis are likely those who are superbreeding, government leeches and the other percentage of that population has 10% of the world’s wealth and has the power to stop the terrible shit in the world that should matter.  But I digress, the world has gone to shit and Cottonelle is mass marketing and catering to the absurdity.  It’s really no wonder that when I mentioned the bad parenting in a Chef Boyardee commercial that just about everyone I talked to only noticed it after I said something >_< Epic fail for humanity.

THERE IS NO SUCH GAME AS PUNCH DUB!!!!!!! this is the destruction of another fun childhood game, we must stand up and fight back “punch buggy” is the one and true version, thats it, if your ever with someone and they hit you and say “punch dub” even if it is a vw beetle, or they hit your for a VW other then a a Beetle you hereby have my permission to punch them in the face for the next car you see, then just say “hey, you said fuck the rules so i say fuck the rules”, i’ve seen the fucking commercials pushing the corrupted version of the game and frankly i’m disgusted, DISGUSTED I TELL YOU! is nothing sacred anymore, whats next, hide and go seek without the hiding or counting, we just sit on the couch together and say found you? paddidle with both headlights on or off? you people that ply “punch dub” disgust me, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DISGUST ME!!! FUCK YOU!!!

p.s.-if you call “punch buggy” “slug bug” you come from a line of slave owners and you should be ashamed of yourself, ASHAMED!!!!!!

damn that shit is expensive and thats a 1999 vintage, now i’m not big on this shit and i know thats a champagne but in the wine industry isn’t a 1999 vintage kinda new and like crap/cheap, obviously not as cheap as a 2009 but thats not that old but i guess for the rappers who go nuts for this shit the price gets all jacked up because only a few of their careers last this long, you got like Dre and snoop and a few others, and can see it now Dre wakes up in the morning rolls over in bed to his beautiful wife Eminem, wakes him from his beauty sleep, there’s a little dried , well, to keep it pg i’ll say drool crust in the corner of his mouth and wakes him from his beauty sleep and asks him to go down to the wine celler and crack open a bottle of the finest vintage ‘99 bottle of cristal

"The 2009 Toys"R"Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids has arrived!", how many damn pc terms do we need, this one doesn’t even make sense to me, differently-abled? "I was born with no arms, but I’m not handicap, I’m differently-abled" Really? so what are you so able to do? you seem less-abled, "little jimmy was born severely retarded, he can’t even breathe on his own, but he’s not retarded, he’s differently-abled, ah, I see, he’s able to shit his pants and not know it, lucky little bastard, if I shit my pants I’d be ashamed. Wait, now I figured it out, this special ability is no shame, now it makes sense, , now I think I’m kinda jealous, I want to be Differently-Abled so I can do anything and get away with it. Either way what happened to terms like special needs and handicapped I thought they we’re perfectly PC, when did they become so insulting, hell, back when my mother worked with the little tards it was in the handbook that is was acceptable to call them idiots and such, but suddenly everyone has everyone has rights, even if they are mutants, remember people, some of them, the down syndrome kids have an extra chromosome and we covered this, more is better, they are superior, they just haven’t come to realize their powers and take over the world yet, and when they do you’ll regret all the waterhead comments.

after a night of pure passion, she lay beside me, the moon casting a soft dead glow upon her body, my eyes lazily follow her silhouette as the passionate almost intoxicating night replays in my head, the hastened rise and fall of her chest as she fights to catch her breath, the way the moon glistens in the beads of sweat that remained on her supple breasts, the way her adams apple moved………..*gulp,click….boom*