Ægrus Somnium

so fox news has an article on their website from a “Doctor” advising everyone to not watch Dancing with the Stars because Chaz Bono is going to be appearing on it and as many know underwent plastic surgery and is on male hormone pills. If you don’t understand Chaz is transgender, now I myself am not 100% sure how far along in the process Chaz is but more power to him. And the reason I put “news” and “doctor” in parenthesis is because we all know fox news is completely biased and not real news so I’m doubting the credibility of their Doc as well, although they must be taking their definition straight from the dictionary (news>journalism>presented with a slant). Now the thing I find interesting about the article, aside from the obvious anti transgender in it is that he uses the guise of protecting the children, now I’ve talked to therapists for a very long time and hiding children from the real world, sheltering them from the truth, is not anything I’ve ever heard of as a good thing. Secondly the part I find humorous about this is it’s fox news posting it, they are oh so concerned with protecting your children and they air one of the most racy shows on tv today, Family Guy. Now before you jump at me with “Family Guy isn’t for kids” think back several years to the smoking campaign issues when camel cigarettes had to pull Camel Joe from the ad’s because it was explained and determined that cartoons are “in fact” expressly directed towards the marketing of children, also find a child today who hasn’t seen it, yes there are a few but not many, I think seeing Chaz on DwtS and learning about real people and the real world should be the least of Fox’s concerns while they are showing kids a baby running around killing people, getting drunk, talking about sex, and ambiguously gay.

p.s. – I intentionally did not link to the article so as not to give them back links and boost their site, you’ll have to search for it yourself

ADDENDUM

it seem’s fox news has pulled the article so if you can’t find it here’s the article in full:

“Inside the Mind of Chaz Bono
By Dr. Keith Ablow
Published May 17, 2011 | FoxNews.com

Chastity Bono, the daughter of Cher and Sonny Bono, has undergone gender reassignment surgery and now asserts she [that’s right, she] is a man. She now wants to be called Chaz.

She has written a tell-all entitled Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man, and has appeared on “The David Letterman Show” and “Oprah.” A documentary about her journey called Becoming Chaz premiered on Oprah’s OWN network. I know my thoughts on this matter will be politically incorrect, but they are entirely biologically and psychiatrically accurate.

First, Chaz Bono is not a man. She is a woman who has undergone radical surgeries and is taking male hormones in order to look like a man. That isn’t a political position, it’s a biological reality. Chaz Bono wants to be thought of as male, but she is not male.

You may disagree with me on philosophical grounds, arguing that behaving like a man and feeling like a man is tantamount to being a man, but that argument does nothing to change the biological reality.

Second, while Chaz Bono may now feel that her journey toward self-acceptance has ended, I am not convinced. I say this because, absent the gender politics involved, I was taught to consider Chaz Bono’s contention that she is male as a psychotic delusion—a fixed and false belief.

Psychosis is not a predictor of long-term emotional well-being or stability.

Mind you, I am not judging Ms. Bono. But there is nothing substantially different from a woman believing she is a man than there is about a woman believing she is a CIA agent being followed by the KGB (when in reality, she is, say, a salesperson at J. Crew).

Very few people, if any, would suggest that the proper treatment for such a woman would be to have the Central Intelligence Agency make her an honorary agent and hire a few former KGB agents to chase her around town. While that “treatment” might make her more comfortable for a while, bending reality to conform to a person’s psychosis just wouldn’t be a good idea. For one thing, it would make us all lose our sense of what is real and true. For another, it would simply perpetuate the woman’s underlying psychiatric illness.

Very few people, if any, would suggest that the way to treat someone who is petrified of death and insisting he is turning 16, not 61, would be to throw him a Sweet Sixteen party. Good psychiatrists, in particular, would be burrowing to the roots of the man’s discomfort with aging. If necessary, medications might be prescribed.

I once treated a woman who believed her children had been replaced by masquerading doubles and another who believed her parents could hear her thoughts through listening devices implanted in the walls. I did the hard work of getting to the bottom of those psychotic symptoms. I certainly didn’t hang up “Missing” posters with the first woman or start smashing holes in the walls of my office with the second.

Delusional disorders are notoriously difficult to treat. Paranoia (as in, the CIA example) can require extensive psychotherapy and anti-psychotic medication. Sometimes, that isn’t even enough. So you can imagine that believing you are a man when you are a woman could require even more vigorous and dedicated attempts to alleviate the psychotic person’s symptoms.

Is surgery to remove a woman’s breasts, close her vagina and create a makeshift penis for her really so very different (other than being far more permanent)? Is it really likely to yield a “cure” for a woman’s delusion that she is a man, or vice-versa? Does it really reach the depths of dissatisfaction, which create gender identity disturbances, to begin with?

I don’t think so.

I think Chaz Bono, who is, in fact, a woman, will not escape, through surgery or manipulation of hormones, suffering that is far more than skin deep.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team. Dr. Ablow can be reached via email at info@keithablow.com and his team of Life Coaches can be reached via email at lifecoach@keithablow.com. You can also visit www.keithablow.com for more information.”

and there you have it

My turn…

Because I nearly choked on my coffee this morning when I read that disgusting piece of tabloid trash (which in and of itself is a sin…Thou shalt not soil nor spoil thine caffeinated life essence), not only did I feel the need to post it on Facebook for all to see and feel the squishy parts of their eyes melt along with mine. But I also felt compelled to write to the author to unleash my educated fury onto him and demonstrate how clearly his PhD must have been obtained with a Bazooka Joe catalog or 500 Mallo Cup points.

Keith Ablow or whomever is unfortunate enough to read his email for him:

I am absolutely appalled by your purely uneducated and bigoted opinion of Chaz Bono in your Fox News commentary. Children are not stupid creatures that need our pity and constant coddling.  They are intelligent people.  They are capable of compassion, love and above all understanding, especially if taught in a home filled with love and acceptance of all things big and small, gay or straight, transgendered or not.  Hate begets hate and it has nothing to do with God. It is really no wonder that Christians believe the end is coming, look at what people say about their God and his beliefs about his own creations. A true God would never hate what he created of his own image. I can imagine how disappointed and ashamed God must be in his creations for how they have sullied his teachings and killed and tortured and used the media to breed hate as you are doing. Children will not enter a state of gender panic from watching a television show, that is simply a moronic statement.  My daughter is 5 and has been to gay pride rallies. She knows the difference between a man and a woman, she can identify a man in drag and when she sees Chaz Bono she sees a man. There is no confusion and even at her age you know what, she accepts them all as people that’s the extent of it.  Adults are who put labels of hate and disgust on the LGBTQ community, not children. Children see the world and its’ people with love and equality, something you obviously know nothing about, and no amount of education will ever teach you that and I feel truly sorry for you and any other pathetic soul you may influence. May your God have mercy on your soul. As for me, my 5 year old, my husband and I will be watching DWTS, voting for Chaz Bono if he performs well, and supporting equality as fiercely as ever because people like you make it so necessary.  People like you are the real life monsters in this world, not the gays and lesbians and transgendered people trying to scratch out a living and make a niche for themselves in a society full of hate.

Sincerely,

OMFG iPage strikes again, i removed our cc info and checked all the stuff to remove auto-renewal and to stop my account, today i get email saying it’s time to pay, really?!?!, me telling you i’m leaving, cancel my account, pulling, and then deleting all my data, removing my cc info, clicking do not auto renew wasn’t enough i really needed to fucking call in to reconfirm my cancellation?

has anyone caught the show “haunted collector” on syfy yet, damn this guy has a great racket going. if you have yet to see the show this john zaffis and his team of paranormal investigators help families who have hauntings by going into their houses and investigating to find the cause of the haunting, his theory is that the haunting is because a spirit or entity is attached to an object. now here’s where things get fishy, the first thing he generally asks about is antiques and heirlooms, ok, kinda makes sense, they’d have been around and collected lots of memories and such, now if your good, and I was hitting 100% you can tell at this point in the show what his going to swindle out of the poor person, generally just look for one of the more expensive antiques, and yeah, he’ll make sure he gets it. so they do a whole “investigation” and in one episode, I think it was the new episode from last night he went to this guys home and instantly locked onto a cane gun, and of course the emf chirps on it, but barely, and when they remove it from the wall which may have wiring in it nothing happens from the emf detectors, yet at the end of the show he says he doesn’t think the cane gun has anything to do with the haunting, yet still brings it to a gun dealer to get looked at, you see a little of it but you know he’s getting the fucker appraised, because he brings every other item to antique dealers and the like as well, he finds out it was made in france in 1870, then holy shit research turns up AFTER the appraisal that there was a shooting in 1870 with a cane gun in brooklyn and there was only a handful of cane guns in the area at the time of the shooting, and it just happens the owner picked the cane gun up at a swap meet in brooklyn, a lot of time has passed since 1870 buddy, you think that “handful” are the only ones around in brooklyn anymore?, but he wants it out of the house and gives it to john to put in his museum, in a quick search I snagged this snippet from a website:

“Gun canes are one of the most popular gadgets an antique collector can have in his or her cane collection.
Not only is the gun cane popular, but at a recent cane auction, a Remington gun cane from 1875 sold for more than $10,000!”

in another instance there was an antique heirloom musical jewelry box that had been passed down to this young woman and she was hearing bumps in the night, of course knowing anything about antiques he zeroed in on this because it had wood inlays and it was old making it $$$, so when he came back with an EVP from her mother just saying “purple flowers” he gave her this talk about just having this music box was opening doors to allow other entities in, what a con artist, it’s not like she’s dabbling with ouija boards, or occult shit here the god damned thing is just sitting there, she’s just hanging on to a family heirloom, so after the talk of opening the door and letting bad things in of course she hands it over for his museum, this guy is making bank and has all the people on film telling him to take their valuable items

it was pointed out that I should make it so people can comment without registering, and I did just that, then shortly afterwards I also made it so you can comment without a name or email being necessary so feel free to comment away, the captcha and spam filters are still in place

It’s wedding season and those of us that have to go or be in one are slitting our throats but there are some of you who are excitedly creating this hell for the rest of us.

So you are getting married, or maybe thinking of getting married…or maybe you are one of those obsessive cat ladies that creep out potential suitors with your compulsive wedding banter because your biological clock is taking over where you psychological balance has ceased to exist.  Whatever the sitch, it’s on your mind and with the economy going to shit faster than the religious credibility of thousands of bankrupt Rapture defeatists, financing your wedding will definitely be your main focus.  It will be, even though your main focus should be the happiness and new life you are creating with your partner…but you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

In planning my wedding I learned some very helpful and solid ways to cope with wedding budgeting that you may not find on normal blogs, magazines, or from the mouths of all those middle-aged wedding harpies who will badger you with advice and tell you what you SHOULD do and NEED to have at your wedding to make it more like their now defunct marriage celebration 800 years ago so that when you ultimately stray from their advice they can get so pissed off about it they actually contemplate not going to your wedding, declare it a disaster, but do go for the free food and cake.

1. Don’t give a shit. Seriously! Why freak out over every little thing that goes wrong or doesn’t go your way? Yes there are some things that will go wrong and need attention but nothing is worth the Bridezilla melodrama because you know what that proves? You are an intolerable spoiled asshole, everyone feels sorry for your soon-to-be husband or wonders how he can be so stupid, and they all secretly hope something really goes wrong to teach you a lesson or take squares on when your marriage will inevitably fail.  That’s how people roll. Relax and enjoy the planning and let things roll off, always have a plan z because no one feels bad for you.

2. Think outside your wedding box! Having what you want doesn’t have to be black and white and it doesn’t have to cost a lot, especially when it comes to favors. When you are looking for types of boxes, ribbons, etc. think about it not as a bride but as a normal person.  For example, I wanted Chinese take out boxes for my Asian themed wedding.  At wedding and favor stores and sites they wanted 1.50-3.00 per box. Fuck that! I needed 150 boxes!  So I thought about it not as a bride but as if I were in need of supplies for my Chinese food restaurant, where do they get their boxes from? They surely don’t pay that much per box or they wouldn’t make you take the free pint of rice no one ever wants. I ordered them from a site called Paper Mart and paid less than $25 for the entire order! Things that are made explicitly for weddings are marked up dramatically because they are bending over the bride and that’s not fair to the groom. So be creative, because your reception will inevitably take up at least 50% of your total budget so save where you can.

3. Trunk Shows and Mailing Lists Rock! Creepy or cunning, most girls fall in love with their potential wedding dress well before they are even engaged and in many cases the dress is haute couture, unavailable because they haven’t made it since you were 16 years old, or very overpriced and we end up settling for what looks good or what can be affordable. Why not still be in love with a dress?  If you have a favorite dress then stalk it like you did your soon-to-be husband! Sign up for the mailing lists of the designers you love because most of them have trunk shows that travel to authorized dealers seasonally. These trunk shows usually have the entire collection available to try on and if you put a percentage down on your dream dress during the trunk show, you will get a HUGE discount on your dress! I saved over $400 on my dream dress and didn’t have to settle for shit.  Also, don’t be afraid to look for dresses in unconventional places. Many designers make prom and quinceanera collections and sometimes those are more extravagant and fun than boring white wedding dresses.

4. Make your wedding reflect who you are as a couple. Don’t cave in to the harpies! Unless your dream wedding is a perfectly traditional and lame affair then have fun boring the shit out of your guests, they will forget about it eventually. However, if you are looking to be a little more memorable, try adding touches of who you and your partner are. Things from your home like pictures, favorite keepsakes, etc. make perfect editions to weddings and they are free! Even though I had an Asian themed wedding my husband added his flair to our sweetheart table by draping our Jolly Roger Pirate Flag in the front and my happy Buddhas sat on the top of the table. Everyone loved the decor, it was free because we owned them and it added warmth to the reception. So if you are a Redneck, embrace it with beer can pyramids and a few hundred of your closest sister wives! If you are into the Jersey fad well then kudos, you have already done everything as cheaply as possible!

5. Don’t be lazy, if you want it done right do it yourself! Centerpieces, favors, invitations, even the bouquets and other small trinkets can be handmade or produced mostly on your own at very little expense.  Invitations that are professionally printed not only cost A LOT but also waste a LOT of paper, they are very environmentally costly because of all the stupid little envelopes and metallic trim that make them impossible to recycle.  Printing your own is one way to not only save money but you can control the type of card stock used and its environmental impact.  We used recycled card stock with a very pretty cherry blossom print. As luck would have it, the pattern was on clearance so with the ink for our printer and stamps the total cost for our invitations was about $30. Because of the environmental focus, not caring to keep track of more paper, and not wanting to spend more on stamps, we did not do return envelopes for replies.  We saved money by giving our guests two ways to reply:  By phone and via a special email address that we had set up just for RSVPs. People loved the email and preferred this method to calling or sending back reply cards because much of our combined family are anti-social telephobes and confessed their inevitable irresponsibility because they were sure they would have lost the reply cards which would have resulted in last minute RSVPs, wasted money on postage and more dead trees = shitty karma.

6. Put those bitches to work! Nothing says cheap labor like a bridesmaid.  Everything you plan to do yourself can be accomplished with the blood, sweat, and tears of your bridal party, it’s in their job description and they work for food and cheap wine! Bang the drum and make them earn that ugly dress (we all know you did it on purpose you catty bitch)!

7. Call in Favors! Finally, don’t be afraid to call in those favors! If you know a DJ, remind him that he is banging your sister and a great present would be to do your wedding for free. Know someone that works for lawyers? That means that they are chummy with judges and justices too that can marry you on the DL for cheap if you aren’t into the Church thing. Related to someone with gorgeous, spacious property? Hit them up for a ceremony/reception in their yard then splurge on catering and Dior!

The hardest part about all of this is not really about the money but letting go of the fact that you are not sponsored by a broadcast company nor marrying into money so your dream wedding will not materialize into much more than a drool encrusted fantasy.  Keeping elements of that dream and making them the focal point of your wedding will however tie it all together and keep it memorable. No one wants to walk out of a wedding feeling like they wasted 5 hours of their lives, although we all do more than we care to admit. Thank Buddha for open bar!

You want to get the word out about your wedding early, so people can plan accordingly. There are many great companies that offer promotional products that you can give to everyone invited and these wont cost an arm and a leg.