Ægrus Somnium

so Lady Gaga’s video for Alejandro came out today, now all my friends know i have a very weird eccentric taste in music ranging from folk to hardcore so yes i like gaga and Katy Perry, so anyway, i’m not a fan of this song, and not too big a fan of artist really “exposing” themselves to bolster their career’s but in Gaga’s case she is basically always barely clothed even when she was playing coffee houses there was a case of it, so after the video was put online today Katy Perry tweets this comment “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”, for one if i remember Katy was always making dumb fart/poop jokes on her twitter account, and if you look at her twitter account right now the dipshit russel brand she’s seeing makes a fart joke about how she has to sleep on the couch because she farts so bad in bed, oh the irony is just beginning, next, katy was born in a strict catholic household and when her career started she was cool, had a really cool kawaii cutesy kinda style to fit with her good looks, but now she just hangs her boobs out over he skimpy ass costumes, doesn’t seem very catholic to me to show as much skin as legally possible to push your career forward, next, this idiot russel brand, before they started seeing each other he came up to her at a show and said something like “let’s make out” or “i want to make out with you” and she just started making out with him, very very catholic way to go about things, typical religious person, pulls a religion card to use against someone else yet goes against it all herself just because she’s not the top girl on the block anymore, and alejandro is slated to be the summer song, personally i think california gurls should be but snoop shouldn’t be in it, kinda ruins the feel of it, even though snoops the shit, speaking of snoop, when they show snoop and katy at the studio she has a giant cock statue or dildo and a hookah in the studio and then she walks out of camera view while they’re filming snoop and you can hear the hookah bubbling, what could katy be doing, good catholic girl, and whats with this fuck tard russel brand she’s seeing “the comedian who looks like a rockstar” for one he’s not funny SO HE’S NOT A FUCKING COMEDIAN!!!!!! and he doesn’t look like a rockstar he’s way to feminine he looks more like he should be in the circus as a bearded woman, he’s way to feminine…. wow, i can’t believe i got that much bitching because of katy perry, i just hate people pulling religious cards when they are a walking blasphemer themselves, ok, let’s not lie, i just hate

people drive me crazy, what else is new right, so i coined a new term for one of the groups of people that drive me really crazy, homo-pseudiens, for the window lickers out there this means fake people, see homo-sapien is a human being, ok, we got that, alrighy then, now for the next step, the hard part pseudo means artificial or fake, you see that, ok, fucking fancy right, that lesson was brought to you once again and as usual by the letter F and the number U. now the thing that makes homo-pseudiens© so dangerous is that they are tricky little buggers, you don’t know they are fake at first, they get all up in your life, they snuggle in real good, sometimes becoming are girlfriend or boyfriend before they’re all like “TELL ‘EM LARGE MARGE SENT YA’ MUAHAHAHAHAHA”. the easiest way to deal with them once exposed is to smile and slowly back away, trust me on this. homo-pseudiens suck because they can drive you fucking crazy, trust me, my anxiety goes apeshit because of these people, i feel like a fucking muppet running around with my little muppet arms flailing in the air looking for a razor to gash my fuzzy wrists and watch the fluff spill everywhere, so be on the look out for homo-pseudiens and fear them my friends, fear them. um, well, and watch for signs, saying the like something but never doing it or not knowing anything about it, saying one thing and always doing another, name dropping of people you know who you know they don’t, watch for the lies

ok, i write about a lot of interesting things, or try to at least, and rant about a lot, but this has me very intrigued, when i got married a great friend of mine from my high school days was at the wedding with her husband and was telling me about a vietnamese friend of his who would bring him bottles of alcohol with a cobra in them, this intrigued me, time went by and i forgot about it and lately we’ve been on an absinthe kick and looking at other interesting alcohols to try, a very very short time ago said friend had her first child, YAY!!!!, and we went to visit and her husband brought out a bottle of the alcohol with the king cobra in it, now i was truly amazed, i needed this, it must be in my collection, so i began doing what i do and researching it:

yes my beloved readers, that is truly a real king cobra in the bottle, thus you have snake wine, so i was searching and thinking this can’t be easy to get, his friend must be bringing it into the country when he journeys home to vietnam when boom, http://www.asiansnakewine.com/ , you can just buy yourself a bottle, this is simply fucking amazing, they have ones with scorpions hanging out of the cobras mouth as well, and not only that, the tell you how you can refill the bottle with your own variations of alcohol to make different types of snake wines once you finish drinking the bottle you have purchased how amazing of a company is that, simply astounding, go my people, by yourselves a bottle, get wasted, tie the snake around your head and run down the streets like a warrior!!!!!

the title doesn’t make any sense so ignore it, i just feel like being angry at myself right now because stupid shit triggered my anxiety then i remembered the movie the cell where she could go in peoples heads and help them, they need to make that shit a reality, i want to get inside my head and beat the shit out of a physical embodiment of my issues, wouldn’t that be awesome to do, yeah, thats actually all i have to say, i’ll have a real update soon, something  stupid as usual

so the woman piece is gonna be writing on the site now as well, and she better do good or she might “run into the door” a few more times, but anyways, she’ll be posting now so enjoy her posts, and my pain since she forced me into this situation, this was not a decision to be made lightly, see, i was forced to wear one of these until i told her she could post:

until i told her she could use my site as well, sorry, “our” site, and my dear friends, i held out as long as i could as the title of this post illustrates, but only those who have worn one of those evil, menacing, maniacal devices knows the pain of getting aroused while wearing one, and she made sure that there was porn on every tv, porn pictures everywhere even in the fucking fridge, she even went as far as to put porn audio on my ipod in place of all my old songs (thousands) and took the time to keep the songs real names, fucking E VILE